Texts From Bennett: The Novel
textsfrombennett: I am officially writing/compiling the Texts From Bennett novel! It will be 99% new texts and several very hilarious, epic, stories about my Cousin Bennett. And a few surprises too! Gallery Books / Simon&Schuster Publishing! 2013! I’m embarrassed that I follow this blog and I’m embarrassed that I’m now reblogging something from this blog, but…...
Anonymous asked: happy mothers day . Your mom should have swallowed you.
My friend told me that he texted a girl he slept with (a mere three months ago) asking if she wanted to hang out again (three months later; great guy) and she responded saying she had a boyfriend and they were very happy together. “A boyfriend.” “Happy together.” I’m sorry? She found a person to wife her up. With whom she is HAPPY. In three months. … Did...
I ran into someone I haven’t seen in years the other day and he asked me what was going on and I responded “oh… soooo much” in a weird, affected, sigh-like manner. And I had every intention of beginning to tell this person every minuscule detail of how shitty and frustrating and irritating my life and almost every person (including, and perhaps, most importantly, myself)...