I don’t go around saying that I’m pretty or thin or cool or smart or, anything, really. I never say anything nice about myself. I hate myself. But, if there is one thing I do think about myself, it’s that I’m funny.
I think I think I’m funnie. I like to think that; I think other people think that. I’ve had some positive reinforcement of this opinion.
So, keeping that in mind, I have a story to tell:
A few days ago, I was laying in bed with a person of the opposite sex (GUYS I KNOW DON’T FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!) - and I’ve hung out with this person a few times and this person has NEVA EVA laughed at a single thing I’ve said. And I’m a girl, and he’s a guy. And we’re not friends. So, the least he could do is laugh just to make me think I was funny so he’d have a better chance of seeing me naked (right? that’s a thing, right?). Or, at the very least… TO SHUT ME UP!! - and out of absolutely fucking nowhere, he just starts CRACKING UP.
And I’m like:
OH HEY HUNNIE, WHATCHA LAUGHIN’ AT??
And, and, and he says something about how we’re laying here, listening to music from my computer… And And And… I don’t know. I don’t know anything. This, the fact that this happened, proves that I don’t know anything about anything. I mean I do not even know what that means. I do not know how to dissect the many levels of fuckery involved in understanding what this means.
Like, I literally just thought to myself, “OH WORD? THAT. THAT?!?!?! IS WHAT YOU ARE LAUGHING AT??? I’ve been rattling jokes off the cuff for the past two hours but this is what you find funny?”
I don’t even know how to be that funny- How to act or speak to elicit a laugh based on the finding that this is what this person deems funny is so beyond my capabilities. I might as well just kill myself.
Because, here’s the thing. What even is funny about that? Is it the fact that we’re laying in bed together? Because there’s a twenty year age difference? Because we’re in a bed? Because the music is coming from a computer? Because music is playing WHILE we’re in a bed? Are the two things related? Does it even matter?
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT THIS???????
please laugh at me, i am so insecure. WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT THIS, THOUGH, SERIOUSLY???!???!!!