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Just chattin’ with my cousin about what’s been up in my cool life.                          

And, with a friend.

I’m not even tumblin’ this so you feel sorry for me (not that ANYONE would feel sorry for me), I’m dead ass tumblin’ this to boast about my PHENOMENAL skills to repel literally every single person of the opposite sex I come into contact with. I’m not being sarcastic, I’m really truly am not.

I swear.

I was sort of a little bit depressed about this, but now I’m embracing it. I’m the most bawsey bitch when it comes to turning men off.

There are two types of dudes I’ve met since July 2010 - dudes that wanna fuq and basically can’t stand to talk or listen to me and cease communication within a few weeks … and dudes who work construction (who are endlessly in love with me).

I get it I get it… I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: i know y’all just tryna get ya dick sucked (you know…whatever; I’m sorry, I have no manners) but like, everyone is so god damn devious. That is a GREAT thing to want. Be about that, all day, all night. But, be fucking straight about it if that’s what you want.

I’m on a very strict GET A BOYFRIEND (OR DIE TRYIN) trajectory that does NOT involve idly hangin out and hookin up - it involves purposefully hangin out and hookin up, idly laying in bed, kickin it on the weekends and doing the most fun shit (like… sex) and just generally not fucking being single. So, I can’t really afford any distractions.

And I keep accidentally getting distracted. Not “keep” - I mean, there have been like three people in a year and a fuckin’ half, but still. So, there have been a few babes I’ve been interested in babe’n around town with. And we’ll chill for a minute and then they’re just over it before I can even give them a legitimate reason to be over it (and believe me, there are tons!!).

So I don’t even know if I can take credit for being an active participant in this, but I’m going to regardless. Maybe I’m boring or I smell or the eating food thing or not skinnie enough or my hair’s not long enough or, I don’t know, my confidence is too high??? Something. It’s something!!

Whatever it is, It hasn’t failed me yet… Try me - I guarantee complete loss of interest in one month or less.

(The only thing I’m a little embarrassed about is that I wrote the words “No one likes me” but other than that… pretty much chill with putting this information out there.)