when i got home from work today i found this bullshit waiting for me. for those of you who cannot read this person’s font, it says:
Please remove today. Do not leave anything in hallway. Not your storage.
and that comment is coming from me, someone who left a bus sized box sitting outside my door for the past week, so you know that move was tacky.
i want very much to not admit this, but: i studied this text for over five minutes, looking desperately for a spelling or grammatical error to correct. sure it’s written like a caveman speaks, but there is nothing i can actually call out.
so, instead i went with this.
which i feel displays just enough apathy (the post-it, the <3) and mockery to piss off “whoever found the need to deface my personal property” (another idea i had for a response. had to nix this one as i foresaw the inevitable argument over why my personal property is in public space) because, let’s face it, this person is serious. this person has been looking at that box for ten days, stewing.
and finally, today, he/she decided he/she had had enough and he/she was going to do something about it and he/she went back to his/her apartment and GOT A SHARPIE. AND THEN HE/SHE WALKED BACK DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS TO SCRIBBLE THIS NONSENSE ON MY FUCKING TRASH. that is some intense neighborly disgust. and general determination. i lack any sort of determination (which is why that box is out there) so i admire this person for that. for everything else, i despise this person.
the reason this happened is because i got a package in that box last week and i swear to god it’s impossible for me to break a box down. that would have be sitting in my apartment along with the three other boxes stacked inside each other like those little russian dolls were it not for its enormous size.
but, yes, given the size, it simply could no longer reside in my 2 x 4 apartment and had to go outside until i got around to stomping it flat. and, i mean, thanks for the geography lesson, christopher columbus, but i truly do not care if the hallway is my storage space or not. it is now. and i want to know what this person’s apartment looks like, because if it’s anything like mine:
empty and unfurnished the size of a lego and therefore he/she should know that we do not have the luxury of being able to pick and choose our storage spaces. we take what we can get, babez.
and, thing is, though, this person could not really have believed i would have cared to receive this note… there has been a giant box outside of my apartment for over a week, obstructing my entrance and exit path and i’ve done nothing about it. in what world would some nagging passive aggressive note make someone suddenly give a shit?
not mine. not the world of mercedes.