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insolent toddler princess.

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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor

 

Anonymous asked
When someone decides to do a shitty remake of the movie "American Psycho" w/ a female who pouts too much literally & figuratively, it will be a crime if they don't cast you. I go back to your twitter for ha-ha's and you're as vapid as ever. It's always fascinating to read (again) how unique an event it is that someone looked at your bony ass. I never heard of guys looking at a girl's ass! I imagine you don't sleep, but hang upside down from your name brand heels in a closet during the day.

I suppose you’re also going to tell me I’m not the only person with brown hair?? Come onnnnn.

For the amount of attention you seem to be paying to my blog and twitter, you’ve missed that my ass is actually quite… fat. Though, you are correct in noting that I am a bat!!!!

As for the vapidity of my twitter: I never purport to be tweeting unique events, so IDGAF. That’s on you, weirdo. Wrong place!

Anyway, if you could hoist me down from my perch, maybe we could hang out and talk about the shitty remake of “American Psycho,” doe? I’m looking to break into acting!

Anonymous asked
Look at me I'm at the GREEN room of blah blah's shitty talk show, look at me I'm at GREENhouse with famous people and don't know who won the Super Bowl because I want to come off so disconnected yet go to the same places everyone else goes to, look at me I'm in need of GREEN because I'm dumpster diving then showing off my "3 digit coat". Want to guess the color that influences your life the most? it goes with the thing that impresses you the most.

this is so risible and asinine i don’t even know how to respond.
so… what? are you saying i like money? money influences my life? i mean… C.R.E.A.M, duh.
but, is there a point? and what’s the connection between me and things with “green” in their name? because i just ate a salad (green!) and green beans (green and “green” IN THE NAME!) if you want to run with that…
this is really dumb. :( 

are you green with envy?

Anonymous asked
You listen to Lana Del Rey thus voiding all attempts at being taken seriously as anything. I also have grown bored of your "I hate myself, I want to be anyone's friend/boyfriend " followed by your bragging of your job and it's many benefits. You're EXACTLY like those rich kids who go to NYU, but pretend to be squatters, poor on the street because they think it makes them the next Hemingway or something. ugh, done with you

Wait. no. please come back. 
First of all, I never asked to be taken seriously (“as anything”) - and if you think my questionable taste in music proves that, then I better step it up, cuz Lana’s probably the most innocuous - so if you’ve been trying to take me seriously all this time, maybe that’s the problem:
I certainly don’t want to be anyone’s friend!! And definitely definitely don’t want to be anyone’s boyfriend (because I’m not a boy) but I’m assuming you meant “girlfriend.” But, that either. Not at all. It’s just become a joke (“get a boyfriend or die trying”… which, just for everyone’s clarification, is a joke about “get rich or die trying,” that 50 cent album) because I’ve only had relationships and I’ve been single for so long. Maybe that doesn’t sound funny to you. But, I absolutely do not want a boyfriend to have a boyfriend… if I wanted that, I thiiiink I could have found someone by now.
This is a blog, not real life; I will admit that everything is a bit exaggerated for the sake of an audience, but I’m not pretending to be anything so vastly different from my true self (which tons of people hate, blah blah, you know the deal…)
Also, no idea what you’re talking about when you say that I “brag” about my job, because I (aside from one very specific instance on here) never talk about my job. 

If I wanted to be the next Hemingway, I’d kill myself. Or, write something of actual significance.
How can I be better for you, Anon?

Anonymous asked
So...Just to get off dating, sex and semi-nudity for a while.... What are your roots? Latin / Arab? What did you study at Columbia? What sort of workout do you do to stay so fit? Why do you hate dogs? Where do you buy those cool clothes?

This blog should actually be called “Anonymous asked,” per an anonymous commenter. 

Um, anyway. Yeah, let’s get off that stuff. Let’s get onto why people are anonymously asking me questions?? Who are you? I thought the only people that read this were people I forced to read this! 

Answers:
Half Cuban, half Turkish. (Mom/Dad)
English
I listen to Dipset and do leg lifts… I’m not that fit.
I hate dogs because I’m selfish and love attention… and dogs are little attention thieves.
All I wear are tank tops, white tees and half shirts. They can be found at Barneys Co-op, the boy children’s section of the Gap and AA.

Forgiven!

“Frederic in Toronto”!!!! Thanks for anonymously sending this complimentary and confusing message.

I’d be glad to clear up your confusion, but I don’t know when or where I said I was stressed out!

I don’t feel stressed out, I don’t think. Do I know you? Do I seem stressed out? I’m confused now, too.

Thanks for calling me pretty!!!

the other day someone asked me if i’d had a stroke and why my face was “droopy”… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the other day someone asked me if i’d had a stroke and why my face was “droopy”…

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous asked
Fuck you. Go die, dumb cunt. Your face looks like shit took a shit and your blog makes me want to blow my brains out. Are you really retarded or do you just embody everything everyone hates without having any disabilities. Fucking slut.

oh my god.  no one has ever been nasty to me on the internet before. i imagine this is only the beginning. this is interesting and exciting in the worst possible way.

to answer the question: i just embody everything everyone hates without having any disabilities.

thank you for checking and not assuming.