i just want to say I’ve never, like… what do you call that? The dancing you do at a club? I’m not joking or trying to be funny. Like, when you grind… That. I’ve never ever ever done that in my entire life.
And then this weekend, my cousin kept telling me to do it with the guy I was with (/whatever) and I was like “no no I can’t. I can’t do that… plus i don’t think he wants me to do it.” I was literally WHISPERING that in a club to my cousin who was trying to force my body into the body of this person. Whispering…. in a club.
Whispering and shaking my head. In a club. Yelling in a whisper. On the dance floor of a night club. In Miami. In a dress that might as well have been shrink wrap it was that tight and so short the fact that I’m not pregnant from this action is honestly astounding.
Anyway, I’ve never seen a jaw drop so dramatically. My cousin was like “…..????!!!!???? UMMMMMMM… yeah, he wants you to do that.”
And I was like, “I don’t know howww… I’ve never done it before. What do I dooooo??” and Mary Jane, my cousin, was like “Just like, you know… like move your hips.” And I sort of did a shimmy to test it out and got discouraged because it just seemed like so much effort and my heart was beating so fast and so was my brain trying to figure out how to make these movements happen, so I reiterated that I wasn’t sure he would be into it.
But she seemed pretty convinced about it being a good idea… so I did it. I backed it up. And, idk, I don’t think it would have mattered either way. But, for the record, no one was mad at it.
On the car ride back yesterday, I was trying to talk about the events that occurred and I again stated that I didn’t think he was into it and that I felt really forward (and awkward, OBVIOUSLY) about it and she said the above: “he wasn’t standing behind you for no reason. he wanted you to back that fat thing into him.”
So, well, I did. I’m not sure if it was sexy (oh god, kill me if i ever descibe anything i do as sexy. i couldn’t be less sexy if i tried) or what, and I’ll probably never do it again, but I wanted everyone to be aware of the effort that went into gyrating this weekend…